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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29269455">cotton candy skies (why can't you be mine?)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl_screaming/pseuds/fangirl_screaming'>fangirl_screaming</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Femslash February 2021 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, F/F, Femslash February, Femslash February 2021, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I guess a little, I'm Sorry, POV Second Person, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, i wrote both mc and rowan as female but you can change the pronouns, just bc i didn't pass y3 yet and idk if rowan still has a tiny obsession with bill, no beta we die like my respect for jam city after the shit they pulled at y6 ch18, not really described but yknow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 14:07:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>635</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29269455</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl_screaming/pseuds/fangirl_screaming</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You knew you weren't going to have her.</p>
<p>You stayed anyway.<br/>.<br/>.<br/>.<br/>[Day 7 - One-sided]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rowan Khanna/Player Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Femslash February 2021 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137455</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>cotton candy skies (why can't you be mine?)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>me? writing in past tense for once? blasphemy</p>
<p>also this is my first time writing in second person pov so don't come for me gfhjdks</p>
<p>writing prompt list by warpinator <a href="https://warpinator.tumblr.com/post/635771665982341120/so-i-wanted-a-multiple-choice-prompt-list-come">here</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You knew you weren’t going to have her as yours.</p>
<p>You stayed anyway.</p>
<p>The second she started gushing about Bill, you felt an odd feeling stir in your stomach. You paid no attention to it at first. You were young, and you didn’t know better.</p>
<p>You couldn’t blame her. He was <em>Bill Weasley</em>, for Merlin’s sake! Everyone fell for his charms; his brains, his bright smiles, his positivity. It was only a matter of time, you guessed.</p>
<p>Yet, you couldn’t help the envy boiling inside you every time she talked about him and how amazing he was. There was a part of you that oh <em>so</em> desperately wished it was <em>you</em> who she talked so highly of instead.</p>
<p>You thought her crush would go away after Bill graduated.</p>
<p>You were wrong.</p>
<p>You would catch her sneaking off to the Owlery at the dead of night with scrolls of parchment thicker than what Snape requested as homework so many times you lost count.</p>
<p>You tried to find an excuse to stop her every time. She always found a solution.</p>
<p> “It’s cold outside, you’ll freeze to your death!” (She’d dress up warmer.)</p>
<p> “Do you really want to bother the owls at this time?”(She’d point out that owls were nocturnal animals.)</p>
<p>“Bill is probably sleeping at this hour.” (She’d purposely send her letters with owls that she knew flew more slowly so that the letter would arrive in the morning.)</p>
<p>“You can send it tomorrow morning?” (“But I already wrote today’s date!” she’d say, "I have to send it today!")</p>
<p>And you would always watch her skip out of the dormitory with a defeated sigh.</p>
<p>You never really went to anyone for any advice. You feared their reactions wouldn’t exactly be the welcome type. You feared you’d be mocked, be turned on against, be ostracized. You were afraid Snape would treat you even worse if he knew; you were scared of McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, Hagrid and everyone else you love suddenly starting to ignore you and pretending they didn’t know you.</p>
<p>Could anyone blame you, though?</p>
<p>You didn’t know when you guys started drifting away. Or who started to first. It was slow, so slow that you didn’t realize it at first.</p>
<p>You didn’t even <em>notice</em> until you were talking about your first couple of years at Hogwarts with the squad and gazing back at the warm memories and oh how sweetly simple life was back then.</p>
<p>You had started talking less and less every day until you stopped, and you barely saw her in between lectures you guys <em>attended together</em>. Your heart would sting bitterly every time you thought about it. You and Rowan, once an inseparable duo who chased the Cursed Vaults and the mysteries that followed like your life depended on it, were barely anything more than strangers.</p>
<p>You blamed it on the O.W.Ls (really, you were just tried to get the crushing guilt off of yourself). You knew Rowan took her grades seriously—sometimes to the point it would threaten her well being. You were busy too, you barely had enough time to breathe. Just because you weren’t as <em>obsessed</em> with your grades as Rowan didn’t mean you never studied.</p>
<p>Then, you guys met at the train station.</p>
<p>You had never tried to hold yourself from blurting something you’d regret as much as when you guys were laughing harder than you’d had in years. She looked so, <em>so </em>pretty; her cheeks and nose flushed pink, a huge grin on her face and a twinkle of belonging in her black eyes. It was incredible, how only three words could bubble up inside you to the point where they beg you to let them out.</p>
<p>Though, they never got out.</p>
<p>You didn’t tell her.</p>
<p>You wished you had, before it was too late.</p>
<p> </p>
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